Looks nasty, is nice

Food blogs are, generally speaking, thinly veiled food pornography. Beautifully coiffed elegant food is photographed on pretty plates with nice lighting and possibly avant garde cutlery.

Well not us. It’s time ugly food got a heads up. So close your eyes and open your mouth and see what foodie gives ya.

Five nasty looking foods that taste awesome

1. Battered Mars bars

Now what we have here is something with the appearance of a battered turd. I would imagine that the consistency is also rather similar. But push past these ocular prejudices and you’ll find that they really are delicious, like eating twelve chocolate pancakes at once. Just don’t expect to have any room for anything else that day.

Also, in an aside, did you know when you Google image search for “battered”, the first three suggestions are “battered women”, “battered woman” and “battered Rihanna”? What kind of world is this at all. Moving on.

2. Periwinkles

Or sea snails. You have to boil them alive, and eat them with a curved needle. Most people find this off-putting, for some reason. But they taste wonderful, salty and chewy and strangely moreish.

They’ve been eaten in Ireland for thousands of years. If you go as far away from the toxic Irish sea as possible, you can pick your own. They live on the rocks beside the sea, and summer’s the best time to go looking for them. According to the infallible Wikipedia, they are commonly sold in paper bags near beaches in Ireland, salted and with a pin attached to the bag to assist extracting the mantle from the shell.

Now I’ve never seen this, but if Wiki says it, it must be true.

3.  Banana Sandwiches

This one is a bit of a turncoat. It starts its short life golden and beautiful, but within ten minutes has succumbed to being a brown sludge sandwich. Like the Ugly Duckling, but in reverse.

They are ridiculously good though, Elvis was a big fan.

4. Monkfish

No list of ugly but tasty food is complete without a mention of monkfish, the most monstrous of all delicious fish. Most fish are ugly cos they don’t have to be cute to humans to survive, but this one is really pushing it. It’s also called “rape” in Spanish, as in pricetag in photo.

5. Celeraic

Poor poor celeraic. It always reminds me of the token ugly kid in the really hot family.  Most vegetables look colourful, exciting, tasty. Celeraic looks like a voodoo shrunken head.

And yet, as if compensating in some way, it tastes fabulous. Its smooth flesh is slightly reminiscent of celery and parsley, and it can be raw or cooked, boiled, roasted, steamed or mashed. At its best in Autumn/Winter so try it now, if you can work yourself up to it.


3 thoughts on “Looks nasty, is nice

  1. I’ve had the idea for a while now of doing a dinner party consisting solely of food people generally don’t like; mushrooms, oysters, cabbage, smelly cheese, brussels sprouts, tiny bony fish like whitebait or sardines and so on; all perfectly good food that by misfortune of marketing or school dinner association is vilified — but absolutely capable of being delicious. Finding the right guests, of course, is another matter.

  2. Banana Sandwiches are best with Hunny, so says my Winnie The Pooh cookbook, in fact it pretty much says everything is best with Hunny. In this case it is especially true, the layer of hunny protects the banana from the air and gives you more time to eat it before it goes all brown. All those natural sugars might put you in a diabetic coma but it’s worth it.

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